CLUES IN COMMUNICATION THAT ARE NOT SEEN

OUR CHILDREN CREATE WAYS TO SHOW THEIR LOVE. EVERY CHILD COMES FROM A DIFFERENT MOLD. EVERY CHILD LEARNS TO COMMUNICATE LOVE DIFFERENTLY. WE MUST LEARN TO COMMUNICATE WITH EACH CHILD USING CLUES THEY EXPRESS IN THEIR PERSONALITY . THESE CLUES ARE CLEAR IN HOW A CHILD REACTS TO HIS WORLD.

SOME CHILDREN LOVE TO TOUCH. THIS BECOMES APPARENT WITH ALL THE HUGS AND KISSES THEY GIVE WHEN THEY ARE VERY YOUNG. THEY ARE RESPONDING TO THEIR EMOTIONAL NEED TO BE TOUCHED. THEY PERCEIVE THESE ACTIONS AS EXPRESSIONS OF LOVE. AS A CHILD GROWS HIS/HER EXPRESSIONS OF PHYSICAL TOUCH MAY BECOME MORE PRIVATE BUT DOES NOT MEAN THAT HE/SHE DOES NOT REQUIRE IT. IF YOUR CHILD IS CONSTANTLY TOUCHING YOU THEN PHYSICAL TOUCH IS IMPORTANT TO THEM AND YOU SHOULD KEEP THIS IN MIND. IF A CHILD DOES NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE WHEN YOU HUG HIM (FROM A VERY YOUNG AGE) THEN TOUCH IS NOT HIS AVENUE TO COMMUNICATION.

IF YOUR CHILD IS ALWAYS TELLING YOU HOW BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE, HOW GREAT OF A MOM YOU ARE OR WHAT A GOOD JOB YOU ARE DOING THEY ARE EXPRESSING THINGS THEY LIKE TO HEAR ABOUT THEMSELVES. THEY FIND IT VERY IMPORTANT TO BE PRAISED. THESE CHILDREN CAN BE HURT JUST BY CRITICAL REMARKS. THEY PAY GREAT ATTENTION TO WHAT IS SAID AND THEIR SELF ESTEEM DEPENDS ON HOW WE COMMUNICATE WITH THEM THROUGHOUT THEIR LIVES

IF YOUR CHILD SHOWERS YOU WITH GIFTS LIKE PICKING YOUR PRIZE WINNING FLOWERS THEN HE/SHE IS TELLING YOU HE/SHE PLACES MUCH IMPORTANCE ON GIVING AND RECEIVING. YOU CAN TELL IF YOUR CHILD REALLY LOVES TO RECIEVE GIFTS BY HOW THEY TREAT GIFTS THEY RECIEVE. ALL CHILDREN LOVE RECIEVING GIFTS FOR A TIME. IT IS AFTER THE NEW IS GONE HOW DOES HE/SHE TREAT THE GIFT. IF THEY TREAT IT AS IMPORTANT YOU HAVE A COMMUNICATION TOOL.

IF YOUR CHILD IS ALWAYS HELPING YOU AND OTHERS HE MAY BE EXPRESSING HIS LOVE THROUGH SERVICE TO YOU. THIS IS A CLUE THAT SERVICE IS EMOTIONALY IMPORTANT TO HIM/HER. YOUR ACTS OF SERVICE (TAKING CARE OF YOUR CHILD) HAS IMPRINTED ON YOUR CHILD. BY HELPING YOU HE IS SAYING "I LOVE YOU". THIS TOOL LETS YOU FEEL GOOD WHEN YOU SHARE RESPONDSIBLY.

IF YOUR CHILD IS ALWAYS TRYING TO GET YOUR ATTENTION, SHOWING YOU THINGS, WANTING YOU TO FOLLOW HIM/HER THEN THEY ARE BEGGING FOR YOU, JUST TO SPEND TIME WITH THEM. THEY NEED YOUR UNDIVIDED ATTENTION. SPENDING TIME WITH THEM MAY MEAN YOU HAVE TO GET INTO THEIR WORLD. NO MATTER WHAT AGE THEY ARE THE AJUSTMENTS WILL MAKE YOUR QUALITY TIME WORTH EVERY MINTUE. THESE CHILDREN NEED YOUR TIME NOT ONLY WHEN THEY ARE YOUNG BUT FOREVER.

WHAT IT ALL COMES DOWN TO IS THAT WE SEE WHAT IS EMOTIONALY IMPORTANT TO OUR CHILDREN AND WORK FROM THAT. IF WE NEVER LEARN TO COMMUNICATE WITH OUR CHILDREN WE WILL LOSE THEM TO THE WORLD. THEY WILL SEARCH OUT WHAT THEY PERCIEVE TO BE LOVE AND UNDERSTANING FROM EXTERNAL SOURCES.

CLUES TO COMMUNICATION IN CHILDREN

SOME TIMES WHEN A CHILD GETS INTO TROUBLE THEY SOMETIMES TRY TO SHIFT THE BLAME ON SOMEONE ELSE OR AN IMAGINARY SCAPEGOAT. THIS MAKES THEM FEEL A DISTANCE FROM THE PROBLEM. THEY MIGHT BE TESTING YOU TO SEE HOW ANGRY YOU ARE. EVEN THOUGH SHIFTING THE BLAME IS NOT A GOOD HABIT TO GET INTO FOR A CHILD. HAVING A CREATIVE IMAGINATION CAN BE GOOD AND BAD. IT CAN BE A CUSHION FOR STRESS OR A WAY TO ESCAPE REALITY.

MORAL DEVELOPMENT / PARENTS AS TEACHERS

MORAL DEVELOPMENT IS A NEVER ENDING PROCESS. IT SOMETIMES SEEMS CHILDREN ARE BORN WITH THE WRONG MORALS BUILT IN. WE MUST TEACH THEM THE RIGHT WAY TO DO THINGS SINCE THEY ALREADY KNOW THE WRONG WAY. CHILDREN TRY TO MEET OUR EXPECTIONS MAYBE TO AVOID PUNISHMENT OR TO PLEASE US. I LIKE TO BELIEVE EVERY CHILD WANTS TO PLEASE THEIR PARENTS. WE AS PARENTS ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR DEVELOPING DECISION MAKING POWERS AND INTERNAL CONTROLS IN OUR CHILDREN. IT IS A BIG RESPONSIBILITY.
WE TEACH OUR CHILDREN TO RECOGNIZE MORALLY EXCEPTED STANDARDS OF BEHAVIOR SO THEY CAN LIVE COMFORTABLY IN THE BOUNDARIES OF THEIR BEHAVIOR. WE TEACH THEM TO AVOID TEMPTATION, THAT THEY MUST CONTROL IMPULSES, AND TO MAKE SOUND DECISIONS BEFORE THEY ACT.
WHEN A CHILD IS BORN HE IS ABLE TO RESPOND TO SOUND, TOUCH, AND VISUAL STIMULI AND HOW THEY DO THIS SOMETIMES GIVES US CLUES TO THEIR EMERGING PERSONALITIES. BEING A PARENT WE ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT INFLUENCE ON OUR CHILDREN. THE FAMILY UNIT WOULD BE THE SECOND MOST IMPORTANT INFLUENCE. CHILDREN VIEW THEMSELVES THROUGH THEIR PARENT'S AND FAMILY'S REACTION TO THEIR BEHAVIOR.
HOW A PARENT REACTS TO A CHILD'S BEHAVIORAL EXPERIMENTS AFFECTS THEIR PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT. SOCIALLY EXCEPTED STANDARDS ARE DEVELOPED BY OUR CALM AND CARING REACTIONS IN A SUPPORTIVE ENVIRONMENT.
NO TWO CHILDREN REACT THE SAME IN SITUATIONS. WHEN YOUR CHILD IS DEFINED BY A PERSONALITY TRAIT THEN MAYBE THEY THINK THIS IS HOW TO GET YOUR ATTENTION. TRY TO REDIRECT THE TRAIT BEFORE IT BECOMES A PERSONALITY CHARACTERISTIC. HELP YOUR CHILD DEVELOPE CHARACTERISTICS THAT WILL MAKE THEM FEEL WORTHWHILE.